I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
im holly from the hills drunk
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
