God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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