you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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