capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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