he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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