If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
