Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
