How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
