I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
