I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
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She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
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I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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