i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
