This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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