Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
