shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
