god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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