You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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