how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
