so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize