Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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