Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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