covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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