I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
