Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
