So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
