Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
