the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
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woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
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I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts