I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I need a beard to bite.