Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space