Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Don't make out with my wife yet
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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