a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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