college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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