a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
