That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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