we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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