I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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