hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
