I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
