Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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