I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
