fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
bring money and cleavage
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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