looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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