Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
