Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
