my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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