Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize
