I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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