So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
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I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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