Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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