I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
