We're facebook friends in real life
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
