idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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