Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
