i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Terrible idea I love it
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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