Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
the liver wants what the liver wants
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
