The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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