I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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