i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Is it because I queefed?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
