he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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