just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
