I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
