i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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