I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
